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Why do people break up? It’s almost an open ended question isn’t it and the simple answer is – for various reasons.
Okay, that’s the best I can do. But if you’re reading this and currently scratching your head about why you were turfed out of your relationship or why there’s no more spark left in it, then listen up.
It’s important to realize that apart from the obvious, such as abuse or a cheating partner, the reasons for breaking up sneak up on unsuspecting partners like stealth.
It simply may be time for you to just “take five” and go over several things about your relationship. Look at whether you could have done it better. In fact, the break up may have just been a warning shot to shake you into reality.
Yes, it’s not what you want to hear but more often than not, break ups often turn out to be a blessing in disguise.
In this article, we’ll take a look at some of the things which could have affected your relationship over a period of time so you can start working on getting back together again.
Why Do People Break Up?
Let’s take a look at six reasons why people break up. Understand that right now, you may be a little confused thinking you didn’t do anything wrong.
The truth is, you probably didn’t in the eyes of most people but within your own relationship, it’s your partner you need to make peace with.
Relationships go stale for any number of reasons. The reasons we outline in this post may be some you’ve never even considered because you may have thought that’s just part of being in a relationship.
Well yes it is, but it doesn’t mean you have to forget about what makes each other happy.
We’re assuming you didn’t do anything too drastic. There’s probably no coming back from acts of violence or cheating and you need to either get help or a different type of counseling.
The following reasons could help you in pinpointing the areas you need to improve.
Getting Comfortable Causes People To Break Up
You have got comfortable in your relationship.
Yes, this is a reason and as benign as it may seem, a really legitimate one. In fact, getting comfortable is at the core of many problems in relationships.
Go back over your time together and compare your behavior from your courting days to recent times.
Taking Your Partner For Granted
Taking your partner for granted is related to getting comfortable. Again, think of what you did for your partner in your early days together.
You perhaps bought flowers, surprised them with gifts, organized romantic getaways – just some ideas to prompt your memory.
Are you still doing those things now?
Why Do People Break Up? Because Of No More Compliments
So when did you last pay your partner a compliment? Can’t remember? Do you know your partner?
If you were paying compliments early in your relationship and they responded to you in a loving way, why would you stop paying them now.
Relationship experts agree that paying each other compliments on a regular basis helps maintain a strong bond between two people. Start paying compliments again.
Are You Overly Critical?
You know, being critical of someone over a period of time can really erode a person’s feelings. Think about it, you don’t like to be criticized do you?
After awhile, constant criticism leads to resentment and as we’ve pointed out on this site on numerous occasions, when resentment sets in, there’s almost a point of no return in the relationship.
Stop being critical.
Why Do People Break Up – Lack Of Communication
I should have put this on top because it’s such an obvious reason why people break up. Instead, I’ve put it down the list but this doesn’t detract from the importance of communication in a relationship.
Communication can be as simple as asking someone how their day at work was? It’s about showing the other person you really care about them and value listening to them.
When you talk, don’t interrupt and just listen. Then make your point. Once again, think back to how you used to communicate with each other. Wasn’t it satisfying and rewarding?
Did The Fun Stop?
What were you doing for fun? Nothing? It’s a fair bet that you and your partner are different.
Maybe they like a little fun in their life while you are a homebody.
As a relationship grows, the balance between fun and hanging around the home can get lopsided.
If you like to stay home that’s fine but know that every time you do and deny your partner a chance to go out, even just for ice-cream, that old chestnut of resentment continues to fester.
Create a date night each week. Do something together.
Take in a movie, go to dinner, go and play putt putt golf, go dancing, take a hike in a park somewhere, get bicycles…the list is endless.
Why Do People Break Up – Final Thoughts
When I’ve shown this list to people many of them suddenly have a light bulb moment.
It’s uncanny how many simply took their relationship and their partner for granted. A sudden feeling of guilt comes over them.
If this is you then that’s okay. Sometimes you have to fail to succeed. If you recognize what went wrong, there may still be time to make things right.
I say “may still be time” because I don’t know how long you’ve been together or whether your partner’s “feelings bank” for you is completely empty.
If it is, chances of rectifying the situation just took a nosedive, especially if someone else has appeared on the scene and is paying them the same type of attention you once did.
I don’t want to alarm you but it happens and I want you to understand that this is a situation that you may not be able to rescue.
Especially if your partner has made up their mind.
But let’s stay positive. Ask your partner for a meeting. Let them know you let them down. Be unconditional with your apology.
I hope things work out for you. Leave a comment and let us know how it turned out.