So, how long does the honeymoon period last? This is a difficult question to answer, because…
So what to do after getting married? We’ve got a checklist of things you’ll need to take care of.
Most of these are simply “tying up loose ends”. It’s the stuff that needs to be closed out. In other words, it’s after marriage maintenance.
But stay with me here. The one thing I really want to get to is the most important thing to do after you get married. That’s what most couples, especially young people, forget to to.
And many end up on the “marriage dust heap” within a short space of time, sometimes just months.
Trust me, this is so important it should be given to every couple the moment they announce to the world they are getting married.
But first, what to do after getting married when you return from your honeymoon and start life together.
What To Do After Getting Married – 8 Things To Consider
Here are eight things to consider doing after getting married.
These are basically “general housekeeping” items you’ll need to consider after you get back home.
Some couples will organize close family friends or relatives to take care of some of the items on this list.
That’s great but my advice would be to do this yourself.
- Sit down and talk about your finances. Joint accounts, separate accounts, saving for the future. Do this as soon as you can.
- Check your social media pages. Did you have a wedding hashtag? Did you have a page on Facebook? How about Instagram or Snapchat? There’ll be memories on there you created, especially photos before, during and after the wedding. You’ll need to save them.
- Have you got your marriage license yet?
- Did you change your name. If yes you’ll need to begin updating several documents. Social Security card, driver’s license, credit cards, passport and any other document with your former surname on it.
- Respond to guests. Those who attended the wedding, gift givers and anyone associated with making your wedding day blissful.
- Decide if you are freezing part of your wedding cake? Most couples do. I guarantee you’ll forget it’s in the freezer until you stumble across it a decade later.
- Did you hire your wedding dress or suit? If not, you’ll want to “put it in cotton wool”.
- Go through all your photographs and videos. Your photographer will have them ready several weeks after the wedding. We always recommend putting them in an album as soon you as you can.
While it seems like a lot of work, the sooner you get this stuff sorted, the better.
But the hard work begins once the “dust settles” after your wedding day. The next section is crucial. Don’t ignore it.
What Not To Do After Getting Married
Now answering the burning question of what to do after getting married on a more serious note.
The tips above are simply general “to-do” things after getting married. The real challenge is staying married.
The biggest problem you’re faced with is getting back to reality. Pre-wedding it was all “peaches and cream”. The spotlight was fairly and squarely on you.
In most cases you loved it. It’s almost like someone finding fame as an entertainer or sportsperson.
The adulation is addictive. You get addicted to it. People can’t do enough to help.
The wedding day for most is incredible. You’ve never experienced so many people wanting the best for you. You are the star of this show.
Then the honeymoon follows and you’re still on a big high.
And then you return home. It’s quiet. It’s just you and your spouse.
There’s no one else around. The phone isn’t ringing off the hook. People aren’t going out of their way anymore.
As the months go by, it could go one of two ways.
You were prepared for these post marriage times and grow stronger together.
Or you didn’t prepare and discover you’re not so comfortable being around your spouse like you thought you would be.
What To Change After Marriage
Marriage therapist Erin Montgomery LAMFT, LSAR says this is common especially among young married couples.
She recommends pre-marriage counseling which can prepare a couple for when the “noise dies down” after the honeymoon.
“It can eliminate a lot of the struggles that people will go through when they find that now they’re married”.
“If you’ve taken the time to work together on what you envisage happening in the future then yes, premarital counseling is a very intelligent direction to go”.
“It can eliminate a lot of the struggles that people will go through when they find that they’re in that situation where it’s just them and now they’re married”.
Post marriage is when the hard work starts. It’s when a couple needs to be rooted in reality if they are going to make their marriage work.
Unfortunately, many don’t survive the crucial first year when it’s all about consolidation.
Family and friends support aside, the fanfare has stopped, it gets quiet and it’s just two people left to figure things out.
I’m a big fan of pre-marriage counseling just for this reason.
Really consider it if you are getting married anytime soon.