What is a limerence affair? Limerence is a state of mind. It's where someone is completely…
I just got dumped. The four words most of us never want to utter. If you’re in that situation right now please don’t do anything rash.
We’re all up for a little reprisal and getting our own back but just don’t do it. I certainly don’t advocate going down the revenge route for anyone who has just been dumped.
It’s never a good thing because when people talk reprisal they usually want the other person to feel the pain they’ve gone through. It’s never a good thing and never ends well.
Just leave that type of stuff to the movie plots on Lifetime channel and rethink your strategy if you have one.
Having said that, there is one type of retaliation that is recommended but I’m not sure it’s one you’re going to like.
In fact, it’s one that you may think you will not be able to pull off. So, what is it? Just be happy.
I Just Got Dumped – This Is What You Do
The best reprisal against your ex is to simply be happy.
And no, this isn’t some sick April Fool’s joke. I’m serious and when you understand why you may even want to congratulate me on coming up with this stroke of relationship repair genius.
You just got dumped. It happens to the best of us so just chill and listen up.
Once you get the benefit of this strategy, whether you want them back or just want to get them feeling a little lousy or even confused, this is for you.
Sure, some of you will be thinking “how is being happy going to help me get my own back?”
Or, “how is being happy going to help me get my partner back?”
Well, if that’s what you’re thinking and you really want them back in your life, you can’t go into this thinking like a “femme fatale”.
Like for like is not good in this situation. Apart from getting into trouble by going overboard you’re probably going to lose friends.
There are many reasons a person gets dumped in relationships and some are just not worth fighting for.
It’s best to just let them go.
But there are situations where one may feel hard done by and a second chance would work.
At least in your mind.
If You Just Got Dumped Stay Calm
When you avoid acting on irrational emotions and give the break up time to sink in plus, give yourself time to clear your head, there could be every chance you will admit to yourself they may not be worth fighting for anyway.
But before you know that, understand that in the first 4-6 weeks of getting your marching orders and kicked out of the relationship, the way you carry yourself will be key in your chances of getting them back.
How do you carry yourself?
By simply acting with a happy disposition and behaving as if you are like teflon.
By giving the impression the dumping hasn’t really had any effect on you at all. It’s like “I just got dumped” but I’m okay.
Be Happy, Don’t Worry
Let me explain it another way.
You just get the news from your ex that they want a break from the relationship and they need time to think about things for awhile.
That’s fair enough.
The usual reaction is one of shock, desperation and going into complete neediness meltdown.
You plead and beg to be given another chance. You tell them you can’t go through life without them and you just plain make a fool of yourself.
No one is going to be impressed by that sort of behavior and their first thoughts would probably be…”what a loser – I’m glad I’m moving on”.
But what instead if you act calmly. Let them know you respect their decision and you’ll give them all the time they need to think about this.
In the meantime, you carry on with your life. You go to work, or school or wherever you like to hang out and continue on as if nothing has happened.
Chances are, you and your ex will still have the same friends, move in the same circles and pop up in the same places you used to frequent together.
Whenever you bump into them, put a big smile on your face and just ask them how they are.
Even cut them short and tell them you need to be somewhere and have to go otherwise you’ll be late.
That’s reprisal on steroids.
You Just Got Dumped But Being Happy Is The Best Form Of Reprisal
When you are around common friends be happy, not over the top but just as you would in a normal situation.
In other words, act as if nothing has really happened and you have got your life together.
Never ever bring up the break up or how you are really feeling which is you’re probably dying inside.
There’s every chance someone is going to let your former partner know “Gee, Darren seems to be pretty happy. It’s as if nothing has happened and he seems to have moved on really easily”.
Your ex more than likely wanted to avoid hurting you when they laid the news on you.
But there’s still something deep within the human psyche that will react to a situation like this where someone appears to be unaffected by such a hurtful time.
Maybe the ego gets a little dented and they start to question whether they are being missed at all.
Everyone wants to be missed a little right?
There’s every chance they’ll start to wonder what’s going on with you. Why aren’t you begging them to take you back? Have you met someone else? What, so soon?
They might think, “did they really love me?”
And there’s a strong possibility they’ll start to remember the good times the two of you had together.
Suddenly, it appears as if you are “holding the cards” and they will be thinking about you.
Getting Reprisal Won’t Mask The Pain
But let’s stay in real mode.You are still hurting like nothing you’ve felt before.
You are doing everything in your power to put on a brave face and when you get stuck in a quiet time, you start to feel the pain thinking about nothing but being back in their arms.
That’s fine. You are on a journey of healing and going through the first couple of stages.
But, wouldn’t it be interesting if your ex started contacting you again.
Just to talk, you know, as friends.
Wouldn’t that be something?
The bottom line is, act needy, desperate and gutted and no one will give you a second look.
If you talk about your ex partner in a needy fashion to people, it will get back to them.
But act with confidence and a smile on your face as if you’ve moved on, and suddenly you become more of an attraction magnet.
You’ll catch the attention of not only other people, but possibly even the one person you really want to notice you.
Your ex partner.
This is the best form of relationship reprisal.
Yes, I’ll admit this is something that is tough to pull off because all you want to do is cry into your pillow.
You just got dumped.
You have lots of self-pity and just want to hear comforting words from others. Again, that’s fine and part of the healing process.
This will take a bit of acting to pull off.
But if you think you deserve another chance and know you can do things better with them if given that chance, what have you got to lose?
In this instance, happy and relationship reprisal go hand-in-hand.
The other benefit from this strategy is that if you pull this off – by being positive, you will get over the hurt a lot quicker, respect yourself more and unconsciously develop an air of confidence.
And if that happens, maybe you’ll start to think to hell with your former partner. You deserve better anyway.
Been there, done that?