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This is a lesson in how to get your girlfriend back after she dumps you but beware, this will test every fiber of your being.
But first, a common scenario.
Dan needed a plan to get his girlfriend back.
Emotionally, he was at his wit’s end and the hurt in his heart seemed like it was tearing him apart from the inside out.
He was desperate in his thoughts and they were close to playing out physically.
How To Get Your Girlfriend Back After She Broke Up With You
Your girlfriend, the woman you thought was the one, and who you would get to spend the rest of your life with, just sent you a text.
It’s short and to the point and says she wants to take a break from the relationship. She says this has been building for awhile and she needs to get on with her life. The context of the message seems to be putting the blame on you for her unhappiness.
You just spent a great night together having dinner followed by a romantic comedy. What changed?Typical scenario for many guys – the “bolt out of the blue” dumping which many don’t see coming.
If you are in this situation right now there’s good and bad news. The good news? There is a chance you can get her back.
The bad news? It’s not going to happen quickly. Even more bad news? Forget the original good news and the chance she will come back are actually not that good. Even if she does, she may not stick around anyway. Unless…
The Best Chance Of Getting Your Girl Back
Our man Dan didn’t want to hear any advice about moving on.
All he wanted to do was get his girlfriend back and get her back quickly.
So for Dan and those of you struggling to come to terms with your break up, let’s take a look at some of the important things you must do.
But first, what not to do.
Don’t act desperate and needy but instead, look like you are taking the news in your stride. If you can’t do this, then anything you try from now on will be just a waste of time.
Short Blueprint For Getting Your Girlfriend Back
Here’s a solid blueprint on how to get your girlfriend back. This is like putting a patch on a leaking tire and while it won’t guarantee that it will be a permanent fix, it can stop the leaking. The idea here is to buy some time because time will be your best friend.
Chill out! Clear your mind. Let the news sink in and wait until your emotions subside a little. You can rationalize this as much as you want but the simple fact is, you’re now single again.
Leave Her Alone
Know that no amount of pleading with her, texting her every hour on the hour or any amount of flowers delivered to her door is going to change her mind right now.
For whatever reason, she wants a break. Something is going on in her life so respect her decision. Believe me, in the long run, you will gain plenty of points for doing this. If you can’t come up with any reason why she did this that’s fine.
I’m writing this based on the premonition you are mostly blameless but if you actually hurt her in any way either emotionally or physically, this stuff won’t help you.
You need help beyond the scope that can be provided here. So bottom line, give her space and take time out yourself to get your emotions in check.
The Only Contact You Should Make
The only contact I would recommend is a short text in the initial stages of the break up that would go something like this…
“(Her name)…I understand it was a tough decision for you to make so I’m going to respect it and give you your space. Take all the time you need”.
Something like this is non-threatening, not pushy and it also may plant a little thought in her mind that “wow, he’s taking this well…maybe too well”.
Plus it’s mature and as we said earlier, it’s points for you. Bear in mind that while you are doing this, chances are still slim that a reconciliation will take place.
But can you see how much better your chances would be going down this route rather than throwing yourself at her in a big heap, pleading for her to take you back.
That’s not attractive and to my knowledge, has never worked but only serves to confirm her initial decision to end the relationship.
Don’t Social Distance
Despite the hurt you are feeling, don’t shut yourself off from the rest of the world.
This is no time to be social distancing.
- Go out with your friends.
- Meet new friends.
- Join a gym.
- Join a local church group.
- Run a marathon.
Anything to keep your thoughts from thinking about her all the time.
Too much time on your own with your own thoughts is not a good thing.
In fact, it can be harmful.
While you are hoping she’ll come back to you, you still need to negotiate the healing process and how you go about this in the next 4-6 weeks is crucial.
How To Get Your Girlfriend Back? Have A Good Time!
Announce to the world you’re having a good time. Chances are that you and your ex-girlfriend will still move around in the same circles and you’ll still run into each other.
If she sees you enjoying yourself there’s a good chance she could get curious. She might be wondering just how much you actually loved her in the first place when you were together.
When people get things too easily, they tend to get put off.
- Were you too accommodating with her during your relationship?
- Did you jump every time she asked you to do something?
- Maybe she just didn’t find you hard enough to get?
- Maybe she wasn’t excited by you anymore?
Just throwing some things out there. If she suddenly sees you out having a good time, it could trigger that classic human trait of wanting something she hasn’t got.
Maybe this is the side of you she has wanted all along but you may have gotten too boring for her.
If you happen to bump into her and get the chance to talk, appear to be in a hurry and don’t get drawn into too long a conversation. Get the wheels turning in her mind. Put the ball back in her court.
Will This Really Help Me Get My Girlfriend Back?
The honest answer is this will give you a better chance than if you throw yourself at her mercy.
Now it’s not going to happen overnight. It will take time.
If you’re up to it, then we recommend this is the route to take.
Other option of course is the direct approach. You could just ask her to take you back and when she says no, go into desperation mode and throw yourself at her feet.
That’s short term thinking and we don’t recommend doing this at all.
Put it this way, if someone behaved like this with you how would you react?
Some Final Sobering Thoughts On Getting Your Girl Back
Finally, the plan here is two-fold.
Taking the tips we’ve outlined gives you the best chance to get back with your girl.
Coupled with a little time separation between the moment of the break up to this point, there’s every chance you may not even want her back.
By continuing to live your life and enjoying it, the single life may suddenly appeal to you again.
Wouldn’t that be a turn up?
Statistics show that it takes 21 days to form a new habit. After three to four weeks the initial hurt will start to dissipate and your mind will be a lot clearer.
Anger and frustration will just about be dissolved and you will be looking at the future with a different attitude.
Maybe she wasn’t really the one? Maybe if you did get back together you’d fall back into bad habits again?
The original relationship may have been too one-sided and you didn’t have much leeway to do the things you liked as you thought?
But know this, if you choose the direct “take me back now” route you’ll never know.
Plus you’ll be rejected again and the healing process will take a heck of a lot longer than it really should.
While I know choosing the “chill out” method is going to take a lot of discipline, you’ve got to agree it makes much more sense.
Let me know what your thoughts are and if you’ve chosen either one or the other? How did it work out for you?