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How to fix a relationship after cheating? Well, the truth is, you don’t necessarily fix relationships after cheating, you try to make them work. But that’s only with your partner’s consent.
In fact, it will need both of you to make a total commitment before you should even consider giving it another try. For many couples, this is something they don’t usually want to hear. But it’s something you need to do. There is no “magic bullet solution here. This is a long process that will take plenty of time and provide you with many frustrating moments.
Relationships are always a gamble, but they are worth it when they work. However, after cheating on your partner, you will have lost their trust and this can be a difficult obstacle to overcome.
Trust is hard to get back, nearly impossible. When it’s initially broken, repairing it will take a long time. Put yourself in your partner’s shoes, could you trust them instantly if they cheated on you?
The answer is clearly no. So consider the trust factor. You’re going to have to “jump through a few hoops” and even when you think you have it back, it won’t be perfect.
Deep down, when you go to work, go to the store or leave the house at any time, there will be a hint of suspicion deep down in their psyche wondering where you are really going.
3 Tips On How To Fix A Relationship After Cheating
Here are some tips on how to fix a relationship after cheating.
1) Apologize- it is important that you apologize for your actions and make them feel like they are not alone in this process. You should not blame them for your actions either as this will only anger them more and make the situation worse.
2) Be Honest- if you want to fix this relationship, then you need to be honest with yourself about the mistakes that you have made. You should also be honest about what caused these mistakes as well as what will prevent them from happening again in the future.
This will give your partner a chance to forgive you and help you repair the damage done.
3) Focus On Yourself- when you realize that you have hurt someone else, you need to focus on yourself and start making changes. For example, if you drink the stop drinking.
Likewise if you’re a smoker. Your partner is going to look for signs you are willing to make this relationship. Improving or getting rid of bad habits is a great start.
3 More Steps To Fixing A Relationship After Cheating
At the end of this article, I’ll give you the shortened, straight to the point version of what you need to do right now.
1) Do Not Try To Make Up For Your Mistakes– you should not try to make up for your mistakes because you will never be able to make it right. Instead, you should learn from your mistakes and use them to improve yourself.
This is a time that you want to give your partner the space and time to perhaps, miss you again. By being in their face constantly this could be driving them further away.
Understand that right now, you will be the last person in the world they would want to be around.
2) Don’t Give Up– if you’ve already messed things up, don’t give up. It may seem hopeless now, but eventually things can get better.
But you need to understand, this is only with your partner’s consent. If they say it’s over and you see that they mean it, then leave them alone. Truth is, nothing but time is going to get them to a stage of trying again if they are deeply hurt. And be prepared that they may never want to give it another try.
3) Get Help– if you still have doubts about your ability to regain the trust of your partner, then seek out professional help.
You might ask a friend or family member who has been through something similar to talk to you about the best way to fix this relationship.
I would talk to someone not in your circle of friends who can see your situation from a forty thousand foot view. They’ll give you honest answers. Someone like your pastor.
The Steps Towards Reconciliation After Cheating?
The most important first step towards reconciliation is to identify and admit the problem.
The person who feels hurt or wronged should be able to articulate their feelings and tell the other person what they need from them in order for them to feel better.
It may take some time for this person to get their thoughts together, but this is a necessary step in order for the other party to be able to understand what needs to happen next.
There are a multitude of tips and steps I could give you in this article. However, I’ve kept it to a handful simply because following too many can confuse you.
Consider that your partner is going to go through various stages of grief. They’ve been hurt. You are the person who hurt them. Trust is broken and the only way to get this trust back to a reasonable level is to give this time.
Too many people who cheat and want to fix their relationships don’t put enough time between the moment they were found out and sitting down with they partner to talk about reconciliation.
Conclusion: Getting Another Chance With Your Partner
So, as I mentioned earlier, I have the short version of what to do to fix a relationship after cheating. Here it is:
– Admit you were at fault. Do not throw a “but” in there. Just admit you were in the wrong and leave it at that.
– Give your partner all the space and time they need. If you are truly committed to your relationship then you’ll do this. Tell them and then walk away. If they miss you then they will come to you.
– A sincere apology is required at some stage. When I say sincere, again, no use of the word “but” must be used. It was your fault and you are wearing the consequences.
If after this they take you back and want to give it another try, that’s great. But honestly, this is when the hard work really begins. This is the time you will have to rebuild the trust factor.
Even the most innocent mistake on your part during this time could spell the end. Just be aware of this.
Do you feel this is something you are up for?