What is a limerence affair? Limerence is a state of mind. It's where someone is completely…
Getting back together after a break up is hit and miss. Let’s make that clear from the start.
There are so many factors in play here. Break ups occur for all sorts of reasons from infidelity to just plain falling out of love.
They are extreme examples.
Then there’s the in-between reasons and if you have broken up because you just need a break, then there is hope that you can get back together and make things work.
Relationships go stale. Many break ups occur simply because two people have no mystery left in their relationship.
In my case, it happened when we started working together three years after being married. Seeing each other all day gradually took the mystery out of the relationship and eventually we parted ways.
Getting Back Together After A Break Up You Didn’t Initiate
This article is aimed at you if you are on the outer in your relationship.
In other words, you didn’t initiate the break up but you are still very much in love with your partner.
This is a tough situation to be in. I understand you’re confused right now and feeling a little desperate.
You are experiencing a range of emotions at the present time. It’s like a bad dream and things will be back to normal.
That choking feeling which emanates from the pit of your stomach and travels up to your throat is a sure sign you’re still in love.
That’s the problem with relationship break ups – one person still has strong feelings and it’s usually the person who has been spurned.
So how do you go about getting back together after a break up?
Well, knowing what not to do is probably more important at this stage. As hard as it is, just forget about the relationship for the time being.
The following advice is crucial to you if you have visions of reuniting with your partner. Even if they have told you they don’t love you anymore.
This is a time where you need to forget about your needs for the time being and give them their space.
Make no mistake, these four don’ts of relationship break ups should be heeded at all cost. Why? Because this is a time when the last person your ex partner wants to see or hear from is you.
I hate to say this but right now, the sight and sound of you is probably a big turn off to them right now.
The 4 Mistakes To Avoid After A Break Up
Remember, while you’re going through some pretty deep emotions right now so are they.
For whatever reason, the relationship has soured and you’re probably being seen as the reason for souring it.
If you can understand this then you’ve taken an important first step in your plans for reconciliation. Here are the four things you need to avoid right now.
Give Them Their Space After A Break Up
Picking up the phone and trying to speak with your ex partner won’t do you any good.
That’s for the simple reason that they need to be in a “you free zone” right now. No amount of persuasion on your part will convince them otherwise.
It’s the last thing you want to do if you have any hopes of getting your ex back.
Avoid Confronting Them
Don’t get into an argument with them. Your ego has taken a hit right now but there is every chance this might be a temporary phase.
If you are constantly hounding them and wanting to present your case the chances are strong they will cut you loose for good.
And while it’s frustrating, put a lid on the temptation to get into a confrontation with them. No matter what you do or say, trying to convince them they’re making a mistake will just widen the gap between you.
Getting Back Together Depends On How Much Space You Give Them
How are you doing so far?
The first two don’ts have to do with you. These should be implemented right away.
The next two will involve a wider audience; an audience you don’t want to “tick off”.
Leave Their Friends And Family Alone
This is massive. Please get this – leave their friends and family alone. Friends are usually loyal and you can bet they’ve known this was coming for sometime.
You can also bet they’ve been asked their opinion on what to do. Whose side do you think they are going to be on? Any sympathy you’ll get will probably be false. As far as family is concerned, “blood is always thicker than water”.
The last thing you want to do is bad mouth your ex partner to their family. You’ll not only get grief from them but also lose their respect. You run the risk of resentment setting in and usually, there’s no way back when this happens.
Don’t Hang Out Where They Are
Memories will continue to play with your emotions. You’ll think about the good times you had at certain places you often went to together.
Just avoid showing up at places you know your ex partner frequents. And avoid making out it’s just accidental you showed up where they are at.
They’re not naive. You’ll be seen as a serial pest or even worse, a stalker. They want space and time to consider their feelings. If you keep showing up, you’re going to make their decision a lot easier.
Getting Back Together After The Break Up – Final Thoughts
How long do you need to follow this protocol? For as long as it takes. Yes that’s vague but there is no designated time limit on this.
For whatever reason your relationship has ended. There may be a chance you’ll get back together. That won’t happen unless you give them time to miss you.
Trust me, if they start to miss you, they’ll make the first move.
The path to getting back together after a break up starts with the realization on your part that this is real and until you do that, the path to reconciliation will be littered with obstacles.