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Affair Fog – How to Recognize, Avoid And Deal With It

Affair Fog - How To Recognize, Avoid And Deal With It

Affair fog is a term used to describe the state of mind that people in affairs often find themselves in.

It is a combination of the euphoria of an affair, the denial that it is happening, and the confusion that comes with trying to keep the affair secret.

Affair fog can make it difficult to think clearly and make good decisions.

Affair Fog could be described as a form of cognitive distortion that can lead to rationalization and justification of an affair.

It can make it difficult to think clearly and make healthy decisions. The “good” person will justify the affair and often rationalize the behavior.

The “bad” person will rationalize the affair and blame others for their own actions.

What Causes Affair Fog?

affair fogThe situation that causes affair fog can be brought on by a variety of factors.

One common factor is an “abandonment” or “loss”. Another reason could be what’s described as “cognitive dissonance”.

Some say an affair fog can be a good thing because it may provide a “pause” in the relationship, but it is important to not confuse this with the “good” person’s justification of the affair.

If a “good” person is having an affair, they are actually the one who is most at fault; therefore, this irrational behavior will lead to greater confusion and pain.

An affair fog is a dynamic in which the partner in an affair experiences feelings or thoughts that are confusing, irrational, and vague.

It is often caused by the couple’s emotional distance from each other. It is also possible, however, that the affair fog is caused by a third party.

For example, a covert affair may occur in the context of an existing long-term relationship.

In a covert affair, the person involved in the affair does not want others to know about his or her relationship with the other person. This is done for a variety of reasons.

Covert affairs are sometimes referred to as “under-the-radar” affairs. The term covert refers to the fact that the affair is not openly acknowledged by the participants in the relationship.

It may be “under-the-radar”, but it can still be a very intimate and significant relationship.

The covert nature of an affair can make it particularly difficult to detect and the person may not think that they are doing anything wrong.

In some cases, a person may be involved in a covert affair with several people at once.

Other Factors That Cause Affair Fog

having an affairSome people who feel that they are experiencing affair fog may be misinterpreting normal feelings of uneasiness or uncertainty, and therefore may not recognize the nature of their situation.

They may attribute those feelings to something else, such as a problem with their spouse.

This is why it is important to be able to recognize the difference between normal feelings of uneasiness and feelings that are more than just normal.

Many people who become involved in an affair feel confused, anxious, or frightened by the nature of their situation.

They feel that something is wrong with them or their spouse, or that they have lost control of themselves.  

They may also feel confused about what they should do in order to resolve their feelings, and whether the problem is something that they can solve on their own.

Some people even feel that they are going crazy or losing touch with reality.

The problems that are associated with affairs, however, are not caused by a problem in one’s identity or self-image.

The problem is that one’s behavior is not congruent with the person’s self-image.  

When people use their identity as a reason for engaging in affairs, they are usually doing so to try to make up for feeling inadequate or unworthy.

The affair is not about “us”, it’s about them.  

The focus on their identity as a way to explain the affair is usually a red herring; the real problem is that they are not congruent with who they really are.

How To Combat Affair Fog From Starting

love fogAffairs fog the mind, body and soul. Affairs can be exciting, new and different but they can also be destructive, hurtful and damaging. 

If you are currently in an affair or are considering having one, it is important to know how to combat the affliction fog from setting in.

This state of mind can be very dangerous, as it can lead to making poor decisions that can have lasting consequences.

Fortunately, there are ways to combat affair fog from starting. Some of these methods include:

1) Getting honest with yourself about your reasons for wanting an affair.

2) Knowing what you want out of the relationship.

3) Taking action to get what you want. If possible, take action based on your true desires and not your fantasy.

4) Talking with a professional or therapist in order to fight through the fog.

What Are The Potential Solutions For Preventing Affair Fog?

relationship fogThere are potential solutions for preventing affair fog, but the truth is, they require effort and commitment from both partners in the relationship. 

Sadly, a lot of partners never get to the stage where they can both work together to get their relationship back on track.

Open communication, regular check-ins, and creating a safe space for discussing issues are all important tools for preventing affair fog.

If one partner feels like he/she can’t trust his/her partner, or if the other person is not being open and honest about his/her feelings and desires, it’s likely that things will continue to get worse.

So, the first step in dealing with affair fog is to take time to communicate.

Partners need to make sure they are both on the same page when it comes to communication. This may require couples therapy, or simply talking things out.  The main point is that communication is important and it should be ongoing.

Partners need to create a safe place for discussing issues. It’s not enough to just talk about the problem.  One needs to be safe and feel like they can safely express their feelings, thoughts and fears. This may mean creating a private space where each partner can go if they need to.

A couple needs to come to the table with an open mind. It is not enough to say “yes” or “no”. Both partners need to be willing to consider the other’s point of view.  This may mean that one partner has to be more flexible than they might have been in the past.

Conclusion: What To Do Now?

This may be a lot to take in especially when you are dealing with the initial shock of discovering your partner is having an affair.

Or, if it’s you having the affair and the excitement has worn off then again, you’re probably having thoughts of “what just happened?”. Or, “what have I done?”

Partners need to learn conflict resolution skills. Learning to work together to solve problems is a skill that takes practice.

Couples also need to learn how to have the hard conversations. It is not easy to discuss difficult issues, but this is the best way to build strong and supportive relationships.

And finally, partners need to learn how to be emotionally available.

Being emotionally available means that both partners understand their needs and are willing to share them.

Share in the comments if affair fog has affected your life and what you did about it.

Affair Fogs - How to Recognize, Avoid And Deal With Them
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JD Dean

What started out as an intention to fix my own relationship, has turned into a mission to share my knowledge with as many people as possible. I’m betting your love life has been throwing you lemons. How do I know? You’re reading this page and looking for something that can turn things around for you. It might be making better choices in your partners, improving your current relationship or marriage, identifying signs that will avoid you getting hurt or you just simply want to get off the dating merry-go-round. Maybe my pain can be your gain.

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